Is there something wrong?

I'm so nervous today, I have a feeling that there will be something about to happen, I don't know how and I'm not sure what it is all about.  I'm just nervous, excited, mixed emotions that you can't tell how exactly what you feel. I hope it's positive whatever it is! I don't want to think negative thoughts, just keep the positivity in me, Lord.  Never allow bad spirits to enter my mind, just keep me away from negativity, oh Lord.  I am yours and I truly surrender myself, my thoughts, my future (with my family) to You.  Your will be done! :) In Jesus name. Amen.

Isang Maulang Monday

I woke up at around 5am because our Ethan normally wakes up around that time.  Super early bird! :) I thought of calling kuya Kiel's school to confirm if there are no classes (since there's a storm/typhoon "Gener") and confirmed, No Classes for my big brother Kiel! :) Kuya was asking to borrow tatay's ipad but we didn't allow him even he has no school today.  The rule is that he can only use ipad during Friday night and Saturdays.  He was begging but still we stayed firm with our decision.  Tatay just offered him just to watch a dvd then he agreed.  We left the house while kuya is watching the movie.

I asked tatay to bring me to the office, I don't want to drive long and face heavy rains while driving.  Since he's not bringing kuya and papa to their house in Summer Breeze, tatay agreed to bring me to the office. Yahhhooo! Again, as usual, we had a slight argument.  I just noticed that whenever we are together, there is no time that we had no arguments even petty.  We can't live without arguments.  Based on his opinion, it's me who always analyzes things and always jump to wrong conclusion.  Ok, I admit, it's my nature but ok, again, I'll try to lessen that attitude in me.  I hope I can do it ASAP.

I asked for forgiveness and said sorry! then we are ok before I leave the car.  It's nice to have small arguments but I don't want to have it everyday.  I hope I can change it the way he wanted me to. I hope I will become a better listener so he will not avoid telling me stories.  I don't want to happen that he will feel more comfortable telling stories with his friends than his own wife. :( Sorry tatay!

Praning again and again...

Yesterday was the first day of my overnight Executive Check Up (ECU).  I thank Cypress for this benefit, I really appreciate that they are willing to spend more just to make sure their employees are healthy.  I was so nervous because I was thinking "what if I'm pregnant?", I just thought of it when I had already my X-ray.  I asked couple of nurses the possible effect of radiation to babies, they said the baby might have inborn defects or similar to that, Oh No! I just put my baby (if i'm really pregnant) to danger.  I went to the hospital's pharmacy to get pregnancy test kit, apparently, there is no available kit :( Gosh! I really need to check if I'm really pregnant. I texted and called my husband just to share how I feel.  He advised me to go to Mercury Drug in front of the hospital.  I went there even I have my patient name tag on my wrist.  I bought two kits just to make sure.  When I got back to the hospital, immediately, I checked it.  It's negative! but there's a symptom on my breast that I can't help but think I am pregnant.  Same symptom with my previous pregnancies.  I really do hope I'm not!!!! Though I'm married, I'm shy to broadcast that I'm positive, my youngest son is only 7 month old.  NAKAKAHIYA!!!!

     

Praning again....

This day is like one of the days when I just thought that maybe "I'm pregnant" (again????!!!).  All of a sudden it crossed my mind and felt again the nervousness that if Ethan is now 7 months old, then by the time he gets 1 year old, I'm already at my 5th month of pregnancy...(oh my! oh my!).  Again and again, I researched on the number of days before and after menstruation which are safe not to get pregnant.

I was able to research on it thru this site..  http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_it_safe_to_have_intercourse_5_days_before_and_after_your_period

The question is:  Is it safe to have intercourse 5 days before and after your period? the best answer I got is this 

Yes, it comes under safe period.Reason being, ovulation occurs after 14 days from your last Mensuration and 7 days before and 7 days after ovulation are good enough for eggs to get fertilize and leads to pregnancy, however 5 days before the cycle and 5 days after the cycle come under safe period, as sperms can alive only for seven days and then die. This can be understand by an example-

Lets says your last cycle took place on 20 April then the next ovulation date would be 20+14= 34 which makes 4 May (if last month was of 30) which means
7 days before ovulation (4-7=-3 means 27 April) and 7 days after ovulation (4+7= 11 may) is for eggs to get fertilized. that means days from 27th April till 11th May is not a safe for you and days before 27 April and after 11 May will be considered as a safe period, as sperms will die by the time next ovulation takes place. Which means 5 days before Mensuration cycle (20-5=15 April) and 5 days after cycle (20+5=25 April) comes under safe period.

So what I did was try to compute my "safe" days not to get pregnant.  My last menstruation was on July 1.  Based on the above computation my next Ovulation date is July 15 (1+14).  7 days before ovulation (15-7 = 8 means 8 July) and 7 days after ovulation (15+7 = 22 or 22 July), therefore days before July 8 and after 22 will be considered as a safe period. Thus, June 27 (5 days before July 1) and July 6 (5 days after July1) are safe period.  As far as I remember, we had it on July 6th. (hopefully I remember it right because if not, I'm pretty sure I'll get pregnant...hope it's not)... inhale! exhale! whew!

Things I learned...

As we grow older, we experience so many things, there's sadness, happiness, failure, feeling of being neglected or ignored, love et al.  Through these experiences, we learn but sometimes it's hard to learn from your own experience or mistakes.  In time, you will realize things happened for a reason.  You may not know the reason at the time you're experiencing it but eventually, you will learn from it.

In my 4 years and 7 months being married to Edmund, I could say I had lots of trials and pains.  Also, I've caused a lot of pain to my loving husband.  It says that everyday is a learning experience (hope he will not give up on me as I'm still learning...)  Sometimes, I am so insensitive about the feelings of others as long as it is convenient for me then it's fine.  In our marriage, I learned so many things, I learned and I'm still learning to keep quiet when I know he's hotheaded (I know I'm still struggling with this but I'm trying really hard...), I learned to carefully listen about his thoughts, stories and others, I learned to live simply, I learned to love my immediate family first before any one else' family, I learned to be romantic at times (because he told me I'm not the sweet type of person), I learned to be more patient, to be more loving, to be more caring, I learned to thank the Lord for all the blessings He showered us because He gave me Edmund and my kids who showed me how wonderful life is.  They are God's instruments to enlighten me that everyday is a wonderful day, whatever I'm going through everyday, I know at the end of the day, God makes a way to make things the way it should be.  I just trust Him that He will protect and guide us in everything we do.

Baby Ethan at 2 months

Ethan at 5 months, Nanay and Kuya Kiel

Ethan, Tatay and Kuya Kiel

I love my family! :)

Hard to focus...

Again, I was encouraged to create my own blog after reading blogs of @pattylaurel @mommyfleur @pyxxie0703 to name a few.

Since I gave birth last Dec 22, 2011 to our 2nd son, i've been struggling with my life.  I didn't know what happened but it just happened.  I believe that there are really reasons for everything.  Now, that I am very much ok, I'm still struggling with my life.  Good thing, this time, it's now on a positive side.  It's hard to focus on your work when all you wanna do is take care of your kids then we're about to have our 2nd home finally built, hopefully this August, we can move in there! :)  I have so much reasons to be happy, thankful and more motivated to do my work.  It's just that most of the time, I'm struggling in budgeting my time with my work, family and self. I am pretty sure that in the next couple of days, weeks, months, I'll get used to it.  In God's perfect timing, I believe that everything will fall into its proper places.  I just have to believe and trust Him.  :)