Why is it so hard for me to write here nowadays? I had so much thoughts in my mind but I wasn't able to put it here.
My thoughts are not organized. I feel like I am always nervous, I always worry for small stuff, I always have negative thoughts. When people do good to me, I always think it's not sincere or maybe she/he just needs something from me. Why is it always like that? Is this what you called "midlife crisis"?
From Wikepedia:
A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle aged individuals. It is a psychological and behavioral observation that commonly occurs with individuals between the ages 45-64. Its observations differ in a diverse manner for each individual. While
some individuals may experience feelings of depression, remorse, and
anxiety, others may experience feelings such as the desire to achieve
youthfulness or make drastic changes to their current lifestyle or
atmosphere.
What???!!! It occurs with individuals between ages 45-64... I am not even at my 40s... I think I need to change something with my lifestyle, with my relationship with God, with the people I love. This 2017, I target to achieve the following goals:
1. Have a strong relationship with God. I always forget to give thanks to Him for He is the driver of our lives. Everything in my life now is based on His will and He is in control of everything I have. I should treasure and enjoy the life He provides us.
2. Have a more quality time with my immediate family (tatay, kuya Kiel and Ethan). Whenever we're together, I should lessen being stressful dealing with them. I easily get irritated whenever things do not happen according to my expectations. This is too bad. I should control my temper and be more patient when dealing with them.
3. Have a healthy life. Tatay and I are not getting any younger, we should now push ourselves to have an active lifestyle together, we need to promote with each other to eat healthy food so we could also influence our kids to do the same.
4. Have a baby girl. I just realized that I think this is too late for us to plan to have a baby girl, I will be 39 this July. We should have planned it when Ethan was still 2 or 3 yrs old. In God's time, we claim that we will have that mini "Irene" this year.
5. Have a good disposition in life. Basically, I owe this to my hubby in which he taught me how to approach things that come my way. He has the right attitude towards different circumstances in life. I just love how he does it and I admire him for being focused in everything he does.
6. Have the means to provide for our needs. Not rich and not poor, just in the middle. At least we could provide our kids the lives that they deserve and at the same, have the means to share with the people we love and the people in need.
I claim that this 2017 will be a great year for all of us! God bless everyone.
